Long story short

My life is crazy right now.  Someone should make a sitcom.

Long story "short":

Kyle visits for a gig.  He gets really sick.  There is a snowstorm during his visit that falls on Palm Sunday, so we have to cancel one of the services at church, and also the donkey that I had to hire (yes, a donkey) had to cancel.  A few days later (holy week) I get REALLY sick (like kyle).  Being sick during Holy Week when you're the music director is kind of a mess.  I had to cancel on a Chorale concert for that Saturday, and then showed up to church Easter Sunday with a huge fever.  There was a brass quintet.  Oh, and found out that our pastor had a stroke.  Yup.  So she's in the hospital.  Easter was crazy.  I almost died.  Then this week I kept thinking I was better, but I kept getting sick again.  I finally go to the doctor and get lots of steroids so I can get through a concert at the STL Basilica on Saturday.  I BARELY get through said concert, then get back at 3:30 in the morning on Sunday.  wake up 3 hours later and go to church.  I break the communion cup and everyone freaks out.  This week we have a service modeled after Prairie Home Companion, but pastor is still gone and NO ONE knows what to do.  Stress city.  On top of that I get a fax from the donkey people saying that they showed up to church on palm sunday and no one was there and they want us to pay them.  That is a lie.  I am in a fight with a donkey.

House Hating

Apparently in our house you cannot use the microwave and the washing machine at the same time.  Same goes for cooking pancakes on the griddle while microwaving syrup.  Also, I will never be able to blow dry my hair in our bedroom bathroom.
This townhouse is getting on my nerves.  We're thinking about moving.  I love this place, with its light floors, big, beautiful windows, and ivy crawling up our walls.  I love how big our bedroom is.  I love our neighborhood.  But people, it's time to leave.
It's also funny because we've had about 10 water main breaks in our neighborhood in the past 5 months.  That's a lot.  I'm just saying.

My Husband Rocks

He really does.

I have a lot of friends who talk to me about the negative relationships they have with their husbands, and this always makes me really sad for them, because as lame as it sounds, Frank and I don't have negativity in our relationship.  We really don't.  Maybe that will change, but in all the years that we've been together, the only goal in our relationship is to make sure we're happy when we're together.

Which is why my husband rocks.

Legendary

Singing Lord Nelson tonight with Flummerfelt.  It's a really cool opportunity that I'm lucky to have found myself in!  First off, the soloists are all my friends.  Kyle is one of my besties, and of COURSE Derrick is one of my favorite people.  And I hadn't met Pam before, but I want her to be my friend forever!  She's the REAL pro in the group, sings with the Chicago Lyric, and man is it great to sing with her.
BUT, Flummerfelt!  Oh my God he is wonderful.  A breath of fresh air, even though he's very old school.  He has an intense passion for what he does.  I didn't know much about Flummerfelt besides his name and his bio.  I kind of assumed he was an early music guy, seeing as he was brought in by Crabb to do Lord Nelson.  He's NOT into performance practice at all, but that's totally okay.  I felt foolish coming in with all my inflections and trills and rubato, when he just wants me to sing as loud and accented as possible!  But he is a wonderful man and I'm so thankful to be working with him.
I am so thankful that in the midst of all the stress with my new job that I can have opportunities like this one to really SING and make music with people I love and respect.

Universality

I am listening to a lot of Magnificats today to try to plan out the magnificat portion of Lessons and Carols.  I came across a Vaughan Williams Magnificat, and Frank and I really love his work (who doesn't?), so I gave it a listen.  Oh man.  Well, the setting is really dark, but sometimes there are these glimmers of amazing soul-wrenching music that you can only recognize as Vaughan Williams.  And I told Frank that everything he writes has a moment of musical gold that makes you really FEEL something.  I think it's his instrumentation--he's really good at it (an understatement)--in that he knows how to create sounds that universally speak to people. 
And then I thought of Bach, and how I think he's the most universal of all composers.  I started to listen to Erbarme Dich, and I couldn't help but think of how the beautiful melodies and harmonies (not instrumentation, as in Vaughan Williams) tugged at my soul and had the power to instantly put me in a different place emotionally and spiritually. 
I say "univeral" because I really do think that this music speaks in the same way to people of different languages and cultures.  Surely studies have been done on this, right?  Surely someone has taken a Western musical work by the likes of Bach and asked people from non-western cultures what feelings/emotions it stirs up.  If anyone has read anything like that, please let me know, because I've always been kind of obsessed with this idea.

Sorry for the really poorly written post, but it was just on my mind and wanted to throw it out there...

Big Girl

I got the church job.  And MAN it is a big girl job.  All of the sudden I've gone from teaching a few lessons a week in my living room to forming search committees for new staff members, writing budgets and job descriptions, planning funerals, buying Christmas music, trying to figure exactly WHAT I'm allowed to do during Lent.

It's very overwhelming, but I am pretty sure that it is what I am supposed to be doing, and I think that once all the newness settles down, and new staff are hired, and Christmas is OVER (dear Lord it hasn't even begun yet...) I will really enjoy this job.  I was thinking about my grandma the other day, about how much I admired her and looked up to her.  She was a church organist and also an amazing pianist. I'd like to think that I'm paying homage to her in this job, almost like I'm saying "Nana, thanks for everything you taught me about music, and now I get to follow in your footsteps!"

That sounds corny.

BUT it's a good time in the Lang-Fleschner household.  A STRESSFUL, CRAZY time, but an exciting time.

Oh, and I'm watching the debate.  UGH.

Cry Fest

We went to see Finding Nemo in 3D tonight.  Am I the only one who cries during the entire movie every time?  I think yes.
We had a "choir retreat" weekend full of looonnnngggg rehearsals, so it hasn't really seemed like a weekend.
I just realized that two weeks from today I will have just done a gig in Canada.  Boy am I swanky.  Canada.  I've MADE it.
The hamsters are rolling around my feet in their balls.  I love our funny little animal family.
Oh, and Aunt Sharon gave us a dog raincoat for Nelson.  when he wears it he looks like a little yellow butterfly and we are freaking out waiting for it to rain.

Thankful

So I applied for the choir director job at our church, I'm not sure if I mentioned that or not.   At first I wasn't sure if I wanted the job, but now I'm pretty sure I do--I think it's made for me, and I think I'm the best person for it.  It's nerve-wracking now because there are other people in the running as well, and I don't know where I stand.  This is such a stressful situation right now, but it's real nice when the choir members come up to me and tell me what a good job I am doing.  I appreciate it SO much.  It really makes me want to stay on the job, to know there are people who care about me so much.

That's all.

Saturday Morning

Today we took the pup on a loong walk (for his standards) and it was the perfect morning.  We walked the Trolly Trail all the way to the Roasterie in Brookside, and sat outside and drank coffee while Nelson sat next to us and watching all the interesting humans.  Then Cortney and Zach joined us and we took off on a short treasure hunt.  Best Saturday.

Tomorrow is the crazy Sunday jazz service.  That is why I haven't returned emails and phone calls for over a week.  Logistics have been consuming my life.  Then job interview for said church job, then rehearsal.  Tomorrow will not be nearly as sweet as today.  But I don't think our pup could take another walk like that for a long time.

Puppy!

Frank and I just adopted a puppy!

(Well, not a "puppy"--he's an adult...)

We are in love.  He is amazing.  Came to us house-broken and crate-trained.  A sweet two-year-old Boston Terrier named Nelson.  We have a lot of anxiety here in the beginning, though, as we remember Penny (another story, for those not in the know).  But we are constantly surprised with how well-behaved he is, and his ability to sleep through the night without barking (as far as we know).

I am still sick all the time.  But I am dealing with it.  Always using advil at every waking moment.  Started using the neti pot, which is both terrifying and exhilarating.

I'm all of the sudden struck with nostalgia watching the women's gymnastics team at the Olympics.  I remember 1996, with Dominique Mociano's floor routine and Kerri Strug's vault as being extremely important in my childhood!  And now this year's team is constantly referred to in conjunction with '96, showing old videos, me crying the whole time.  It's great.

July was insanity, filled with gigs gigs gigs, which is nice, and I am thankful, but it was exhausting.  A week-long trip to NYC with the Sackbuts, a weekend in Virginia for Frank's aunt's wedding, a week on the road with Prometheus, and then some lute songs here in KC with JEMS fest.  And then on Monday I found out I am taking over for Alan at Asbury as the interim director.  I am terrified and excited (much like the neti pot, yes).  All the while singing, babysitting, cleaning, and now raising this sweet dog.  Let's see how this goes...

Heat Wave

I'm going to write in this thing again.  At least right now--I have no idea about the future.

I'm not really sure if anyone reads this (wow, what a trite thing to say (also, whenever I use the word trite I think of Dr. Budds)), but I don't think that matters.  Frank is playing Skyrim right next to me, so I felt like writing a little to pass the time.

I've been really sick lately.  My third sinus infection of the year.  I thought the second was bad timing, but now that the third is (slowly) running its course, I'm beginning to think there could be something wrong.  It could be anything, really.  Maybe it's just the gross allergens around because they never really froze off in the winter.  Maybe I have a deviated septum (what??!!).  Maybe I'm allergic to gluten (please don't say I can't make cookies anymore).  Maybe our house is just dirty.  I don't know.  But it's damn stressful.  I get the kind of sinus infection (maxillary?) where your cheeks and teeth ache.  Not only do they ache, but they freak out when you eat hot and cold things, and you go to the dentist and he says nothing is wrong, and you can only eat on one side of your mouth for a few weeks, and then the other side starts hurting, so you can only live off of smoothies you sip through a straw, and the thought of eating ANYTHING terrifies you.  And all your husband wants to do is grill steaks.

That's basically been my life the past few weeks.  Sometimes Frank and I go to Oceans of Fun and jump in the fake waves and float around on tubes.  Our house is full of amazing produce from our CSA (note: everyone should have one of these, please) and we are constantly eating beautiful fruits and veggies.  I am babysitting a lot, and it is hilarious.  Frank and I both had our birthdays this month, and they were perfect (even though I thought both of them were going to be a little underwhelming...).  A Mary Kay sales associate I met while drunk at a party somehow found my phone number on her husband's phone tree from a choir gig and has called me about 5 times this month trying to give me a facial, even though I have been deliberately (and angrily) avoiding her calls like the plague.  I met and sang with Simon Carrington and he is an amazing man with an amazing career.  Everyone in the world is getting married and having babies.  Johann the fish died after being alive for 2.75 years--we buried him in the back yard under a tree and like to talk to him while we are picnicking and playing croquet.  I beat Frank at croquet ONCE.  We watched season four of True Blood in two days, and I am still terrified/obsessed.

I think that's it.  The important stuff, anyway.

I'm frustrated with how things are going.  Well, what I mean by that is I'm frustrated with all the drama from the past several months.  It's been one of those years where bad things keep happening at every turn.  It makes me emotional and tired.  I think it's good, though, that I'm able to make my career as an artist, and I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be able to sing when things get crazy.

Apology

I'm sorry if you are my friend and I haven't hung out with you much, and I'm sorry that I will not be hanging out with you much until 2012. Just let me get all of this "life" stuff out of the way first.

While the repair guy does his thing...

Ahhh, just remembered a really nice moment two years ago when I sang Porgi Amor for Michael McCraw and learned SO MUCH about music in just 5 minutes.

Distracted

I haven't posted for a really long time! It's because around the time I last posted, Frank and I started a food blog. I KNOW, everyone and their mom already has a food blog. I get it. But the food blog is way more interesting than anything I could put out over here (hehehe, "put out").

kissthecook.org

Do you know what I love right now?

I love that the ivy growing up the side of our house is turning red with Autumn, so when I look out our bedroom window I see these beautiful orangey-red leaves clinging to the panes. Yeah, that's what I love right now.

Frank Bought a Camera

This post would be sooo much more effective if I would have included photos from said camera...

BUT, Frank bought a camera and just got it in the mail yesterday! He was very cute all night when he came home and couldn't stop playing with it. He even took it to bed and took portraits of the stuffed animals while I fell asleep. Hehehe.

So, you know what this means? It means Frank is going to have a photo shoot with me on Saturday. I'm totally excited. What could be more fun than that?

Bahh, don't worry

Sorry for all my recent depressed posts! It's really not all that bad here. But it's impossible to find a job. And, when I DO find a job opening, I'm usually too lazy to jump on it right away. But we'll see what happens with all that.

In terms of the tooth, I just went in for the final appointment today. Haha, yes, it took 4 dentist visits to fix this puppy up. But now it's all good and maybe someday I'll be able to bite into an apple again! The crazy thing is, I think I developed some TMJ issues that stemmed from all of the tooth trauma. I normally tense up my jaw a lot, but all that jaw tension has been worsened when I've been trying to isolate that tooth when I've been chewing. You know, messing with my bite and stuff like that. Well, not my jaw is suuuuuper sore, so I'll try to get that figured out. Man, I am a HOT.MESS.

But things are going well despite those two issues. Frank and I have been having a lot of fun here: cooking, baking, singing, goofing, etc. And I've been trying to make more time for things I really love, like knitting, singing, baking bread, and things like that.

So just really wanted to let you know that NO I'm not hanging myself in depression. NO my life is not terrible. It's all okay... And hopefully it'll be a lot better soon :)

D-d-d-d-d-downer

Don't get me wrong and all. The Frank part of my life is awesome.

But everything else... Hmmm...

Yup. That's it.

The Epic Tooth Saga

Let me warn you, this entry is merely therapeutic for me and is NOT well-written or interesting or funny.

This time of the year is always one of the worst for students. I remember this time two years ago--I had my first breakdown at IU. I went back for a gig last week and everyone was in the middle of a busy semester, bogged down with coursework and performances, stressed to the max. And for the first time ever, I'm not in the middle of it...because I'm not a student anymore!

The avoidance of mid-October mania was a comfort to me until I had my own mid-October, non-school-related breakdown last week.

As I said, I went to Bloomington for a gig with Vox Reflexa. It was a little weird to travel to Bloomington this time around, I think mostly because I used to do it so many times last year after having visited Frank for a weekend or so, and every time the voyage back to Bloomington was bittersweet. But now this was a business/recreation trip. It was nice to make the drive at a more leisurely pace and see all the leaves changing in Indiana (they haven't changed here very much yet), and stop at places like Traders Joes--I even bumped into Matt on i70 and we had dinner at a Sonic in Vandalia, IL. I stayed with Laura (as she is my only friend without cats...that and she has a spare bedroom) and Joel, and Laura was in the middle of the most stressful semester of her life. It felt like all of Bloomington was like this. The only people who seemed to be getting along well were Brian and Amanda, who just had their baby a week earlier. I had knit him a little pumpkin pie hat with matching booties and got to hold him for two hours while he slept. I could probably write a whole blog about that, but I won't. :)

Anyway, I sang the gig (it went well, big crowd), met up with a few friends I hadn't seen in a while, caught up on the latest EMI gossip, and had breakfast with Laura and Arwen before hitting the road on Friday morning.

I called Frank from the road to tell him I had left, but I had to cut our conversation short because of an atrocious toothache. Thinking it was merely my sensitive mouth's reaction to Bloomington allergies, I bought a few advil and kept driving. But the pain got worse and worse. Frank had grilled a whole meal for me for when I got back home, but I showed up on our doorstep in agonizing pain. That night I couldn't sleep and kept waking him up as I grabbed more pain pills, so I finally moved myself to the guest bedroom and put a frozen bottle of gin on my cheek.

Let me explain: I am ridiculously afraid of the dentist. I think because my parents didn't really take me to the dentist much as a kid, and as a result I only went for serious problems, not normal check-ups. My most recent visit was two years ago when I had a terrible toothache that needed a root canal, but I didn't have insurance, which resulted in a filled cavity instead. And now, this recent toothache was that SAME tooth. And because of my previous problems with it, I knew it was going to be a big issue. Frank and I spent all Saturday calling dentists in Kansas City, calling our parents to ask them to call their dentists, calling friends for their recommendations, but for some reason we couldn't get in anywhere for emergency treatment. Finally, we got a tip to go to an urgent care clinic and ask for pain meds so I could make it through till Monday when dental offices were back open. So we spent two hours waiting at the Urgent Care in the Shawnee Mission mall (I know, it was really awkward) and I ended up with some crazy pain pills and a bunch of amoxicilan. I was drugged up and sick the entire weekend, with puffy chipmunk cheeks, and was only able to take small sips of milkshakes for food.

Monday I went to a dentist that Alan recommended and got a root canal. It turns out I had a huge infection behind the cavity in that tooth from two years ago. Everyone says a root canal is really awful, but I've had bad pain before and didn't believe it could be so terrible. OH MAN, it WAS! The root canal procedure was horrible and I felt so much pain during it (probably because the novacaine didn't work very well on my infection) that afterwards I was almost in tears. They left the tooth open for a day to drain the infection (GAHHHHHH!!!!!) and then filled it in temporarily on Tuesday. Now I'm doing a lot better, but I'm still on antibiotics and have to go back again in a week. There was such drama with this whole situation, but I'm really indebted to Frank for everything he did to help me out. Not just during the pain, but it's his insurance I'm on (as his "domestic partner" hehehe), and we just set up my plan a few weeks ago. If it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have been able to afford the care I needed in this emergency... And, come on, Frank was REALLY sweet too :)

So now I'm back in the pain-free real world, right in the middle of concert-week for the Chorale. We had our first concert yesterday, and it was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life. Seriously. I don't know why... it's not like I'm an amateur choral singer or anything. This should have been a breeze. But it was so hard. I didn't sing my best, and the concert wasn't all that amazing...so I keep blaming it on myself (which is dumb, by the way). It was all ooey, gooey, sustained, "filtered" singing--none of this laser-pointed, consorty early music stuff. And since I spent the past two years of my life doing almost exclusively the latter, I felt sufficiently out-of-shape for this concert. We have another one tomorrow night and hopefully that will be better for me and for the group.

But the funny thing is, I'm still having that huge mid-October stress fest all of my school friends are having. The parallel is somewhat interesting to me, but I'm sure it's not to you, so congratulations if you made it to the end.

Who knew...

...that you had to be a full-time student to get music jobs in this world.