Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Back to Square One

So I've been in school for a week now, and so far the semester has been going okay.  Not great, but okay.  
I had been proclaiming to the rooftops that I was going to do one of my two recitals this semester, but I think I'm going to save it until next September.  Mainly because I want it to be a spectacle with lots of instrumentalists and whatnot, but I think trying to pull that off during April's recital season would be death (for me and everyone else).  Instead I'm trying to fill my time with other things--an audition for St. Matthew Passion (fingers crossed), learning the solos for Haydn's Creation (MORE fingers crossed)... and things like that.  I just feel like I spent all last semester trying to prove myself (I'm not very competitive, so that's hard), and here I am this semester trying to prove it all over again.  It's frustrating... I've already had several teary conversations with Mark.
Speaking of Mark, my visit to Portland was AMAZING!  I love him so much.  My two week stay there proved that everything is a-ok in our friendship.  The distance has even brought us closer.  Which is wonderful.  I got to meet his boyfriend (who I adore) and everyone else (the good, the bad, and the ugly).  Dawn Upshaw cancelled her concert (she was sick), so we were pretty upset... but the concert Mark and I gave was definitely a success.  It was so great to sing with him.  It really raised my confidence about my own abilities as well.  The goodbyes were crazy hard.  I was a mess for a few days up to the goodbye, and a few days after.  I just didn't want to leave and go back to a place with so little support...
I also saw Kyle over break.  We had a lot of time to catch up.  Just like Mark, it seems like Kyle and I have gotten closer since my move as well.  I find that odd, but in a good way.  We sang a lot together, watched bad tv, tortured my mom with cookie decorating, and even squeezed in an opera.
I also met up with Whitney and Neil a few times--once after Christmas, and then when I got back from Portland.  They drunkenly picked me up at the airport and had made a sign.  Amazing.  Whitney asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!  I'm pretty excited because she's one of my only female, non-gay friends so the opportunity to be a bridesmaid might not come again.  I miss them--especially how energetic and positive they are about life.  I guess because they're both happy...
I also met up with the old Crabbster.  We had coffee in the HyVee Starbucks.  Lamest thing ever.  But it was nice to see him.  It always is.  He gave me some great advice and seemed really interested in everything that was happening with me at IU.
So far back in Bloomington, besides music, I've been trying to be social (the DDR party on Sunday was a success!), finish Mark's socks, cook a lot, and find a job.  The job hunt so far is fruitless.  The socks are scary (try knitting something fitted for someone who isn't there to try it on).  I'm slowly getting sucked into my Wii and the fictional town of Animal Crossing.  But it's one of the only things I can so while plopping down in front of my space heater on days when the windchill is in the negative digits.

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